Where did they go???

The days since Thanksgiving have flown by yet each day has seemed as if it was neverending. The holiday hit me really hard. Traditions that I thought would only be replaced by even better things were nonexistent and I was left feeling quite hollow. However, the days and events still seem sacred and I was unable to try to replace any of them with new memories. Instead I turned to friends and family - the people I can just be with - good, bad and ugly. Throughout this ordeal I have welcomed the grief (well, not welcomed, but I let it in nonetheless). I have felt that the only way to truly heal is to go through the emotions - not mask or avoid them. On those days when I am sad, really sad and I think I won't be happy again - the next day always comes. I smile again - I feel happy again - I am empowered each time this happens. I think each tear plays a role - and supressing them doesn't allow them to do their job. They will only build up.

Ok - that got a little too deep. My therapist says I'm on my way to not being bitter - so it must be the right thing to do. My biggest fear in all of this is that I will become someone who builds walls and closes her heart out of fear. I never want to be one of those people. I would rather feel the heartache than feel nothing at all. So I choose love. And Vodka and Chaka Kahn. (Ok - the last two are a Bridget Jones quote, but you get what I'm saying).